Pre-sequel party
by FablePsycho
Summary: A party is being thrown for the six vault hunters after they had saved Elpis a year ago, but as we know, it's never really that simple. Of course things go terribly wrong when they all get drunk, the question is, who will survive? Takes place after main storyline, contains spoilers, and random profanities. Read if you love to laugh.


_Just a little something I cooked up after playing the main storyline. I'm writing this because there weren't many moments in the Pre sequel that would have me laughing my butt off, and the most memorable moment was when we all heard the racist hot dog joke. So yes, I decided to make a fanfic for all the characters (yes including DLC characters) in these random moments I'm about to write. Now with that said, I must warn you of SPOILERS AHEAD, so if you don't want the story spoiled for you, leave now or stay at your own peril. Okay now, on with the_ story.

Athena woke to a start in her rented apartment within the city of Concordia. She had just had the most terrifying nightmare, which had involved her and her other five ex co workers. She had seen their death, and it had involved all of them dying in some kind of explosion. As to why it was they were blown up, she didn't know, but she could assume that they had somehow pissed a lot of people off.

"Well, no point in going back to sleep." said Athena, in her regular bored tone. Might as well start the day since she wasn't one for just lazing about, but she wondered if there were any missions left to be done. She had already helped people around Concordia, and had taken care of matters outside the city. At times like these, Athena wondered what the others had been up to since she had gone back to working alone.

She had left Jack's employ a year ago after helping him open the vault, so why did she still even think about any of them? It's funny now that she can't imagine working any other way...these feelings were weird, and it just made her feel uncomfortable. It was almost as strange as these feelings Janey Springs kept giving her, and normally she wouldn't really feel much of anything when it came to jobs and coworkers.

In the Atlas corporation, they had beaten those emotions out of her, both literally and metaphorically. To feel what she felt now was, to be honest, a very scary ordeal, but thinking on it wasn't going to help, if anything... "HEY ATHENA," a very loud annoying voice shouted out. Athena then went to the window of her room, only to be surprised when she saw Claptrap waving to her from the ground.

Claptrap then shouted, "JANEY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU. SHE SAYS-" "STOP SHOUTING," Athena interrupted, "I WILL BE RIGHT DOWN." Athena then turned to her closet, and pulled out her regular combat armor. While she dressed herself, she pondered the reason why Claptrap, one of Jack's robot playthings, was even here to begin with. The bot answered to Jack and Jack only, why would he be here if Janey sent him?

It had to be some kind of trap, why else would Claptrap be here? What kind of traps could they be if Claptrap...then Athena just dismissed the whole idea all together when she realized that it was Claptrap. Sure the little robot helped in bringing down the lost legion, and opened a vault, but he was too cowardly to do something like a trap on his own. He definitely could be here on Janey's behalf, hell he practically loves the girl for just remembering his name.

When she finished dressing herself, Athena went to her stash and picked out a Jakobs pistol, a tediore shotgun, a torgue bazooka, and a laser rail gun. With that, she opened the door to the outside, and was greeted by Claptrap, who as always was in a happy mood to see what he would call an old friend. "Athena," Claptrap greeted in joy, "It's great to see you again. How have you been? Have you done anything after your betrayal? Did you miss me, cause if you did-"

"Claptrap," Athena again interrupted, "You were here to tell me about a job?" Claptrap remained silent for a moment, until he remembered, and said "Oh right, Janey needs our help." "Our help?" Athena had responded, confused at what the robot actually meant. Claptrap then answered in an excited voice, "Yeah, the quest Janey has in mind is going to take all of us, isn't that great? Just the six of us, shooting bandits in the face, squashing those who get in our way, why it'll be-"

"Enough," Athena said in a cold tone, "Let's just see what this mission is." Athena then walked past Claptrap, who then hurried to her side, talking about how much he and the others missed her. Athena doubted this, and really did not care, these people chose to follow a power hungry tyrant, it was a matter of time until they all died because of him. Still, if Janey called them all out for some kind of job that would require all their strength, then for the sake of the mission, she would put aside any and all differences.

When the two made it to the front of Janey's shop, Athena saw Wilhelm, Nisha, Timothy(Jack's body double), and Aurelia standing there waiting for them. "It's about time." Nisha said with a disturbing smirk on her face, "Here I thought you had gone and got soft." Athena didn't even bother to reply, she just looked at them all, and saw that Nisha and Wilhelm had changed.

Wilhelm now had two robotic eyes, and most of his limbs had been replaced with cybernetics. Nisha now wore a long purple coat, wore a different hat, and had matured from the last time they had seen each other. As for Timothy and Aurelia, well nothing much changed, except that Timothy now wore Jack's new clothes, and Aurelia was in an orange coat instead of a blue coat.

"You haven't changed." Wilhelm said, in an almost evil sounding robot voice. "Neither have I." Claptrap spoke up. "You are just a primitive, obsolete robot of an old generation, what possible change could you undertake?" Aurelia asked in a mocking tone. "Guys," Timothy spoke up, "Can we get this over with, I need to be somewhere soon." "Really?" Athena replied in a toneless voice, "What could possibly be so important, that someone would need a nobody like you? You are not even the real Jack."

"No, I'm not." Timothy replied in an angered tone, "But I'm being paid to make Jack look like a hero. I'm supposed to be leading a daring exploit into the vast jungles of Pandora to document the natives and it's creatures." "That I would personally not recommend." Aurelia warned, "Their is nothing else we can extract from such vile creatures that we have not done already, believe me I tried."

"It's not about learning," Timothy replied, "It's about making Jack look like a badass." "Um guys?" Claptrap tried to speak, only for everyone to tell him to shut up. For a moment he had been discouraged, but he knew he had to end this before his "Friends" kill each other. He then spoke again, and said, "Um guys, shouldn't we be going in and asking Springs about that quest?"

Everyone then shut up, and realized that the annoying robot was right. They all just stopped talking to each other, and entered Janey's 'Emporium o stuff' only to find a note telling them to meet her at Moxxi's old bar. "I will not step a foot in such filth." Aurelia said, disgusted at the thought of a woman of her taste going into such a place of filth. "Oh quit your whining," Wilhelm mocked, "If anything, you flesh bags carry around more filth then anything, unlike us robots."

"Actually-," Claptrap began, only for Wilhelm to say, "I didn't ask for your opinion." With that, Claptrap's antenna went down as he slumped to Moxxi's old bar. Athena just gave the cyborg an angry look before going after Claptrap. It wasn't that she didn't find him any less annoying, but she knew the bots metaphorical heart was in the right place. When she reached the inside of the bar, she realized that it was dark, and that no music had been playing.

Athena just walked through the bar blindly, but also walked through it by memory. What she hadn't counted on was tripping over Claptrap, who was just as blind as she was. "Hold me." he said, hanging tight to Athena, who was trying to pry him off. Soon the others followed in suit, and bumped into each other, except for Wilhelm, who avoided problem by using lights that had been installed in his cybernetic eyes.

He just laughed as he watched the others fall over each other. "LOL," he mocked, "Don't you all wish you had eyes like mine?" They all glared at the cyborg, as they all answered, "NO." Wilhelm just shrugged it off, and replied, "Whatever." After everyone had gotten back on their feet, Nisha asked in an angered tone, "Why would Springs call us here if no one is-"

"SURPRISE." The people of Concordia all shouted in unison. Our six ex vault hunters didn't know what to make of it all, other then think that the entire town had gone crazy. It wasn't like it was any of their birthdays, and none knew how to react or what to make of it all. Then out of the crowd, Janey walked out and said, "Happy anniversary guys." The ex vault hunters just stared at each other in confusion, except for Claptrap, who was enjoying the praise, even though he didn't know what it was for.

"Um, Springs what exactly are you tryin to accomplish but throwin a party?" Janey smiled, and answered, "It's been a year since the six of you all saved us from Zarpedon and the lost legion. We the people of Concordia want to show our appreciation, and show that we'd never forget such acts of heroics." The ex vault hunters eyes just widened, while Claptrap jumped around with glee.

"Finally, someone notices and praises me for my deeds." Claptrap says, as he starts to beatbox and dance around. Wilhelm, Nisha, and Aurelia just smile as people chant their names, and praise them, for their great deed. "You know you don't have to do that." said Timothy, who had a hint of resentment in his voice. Janey's smile had vanished when she realized what this all meant to the person who was pretending to be Jack.

Yes, she knew that the man before her was not the real Jack himself. The reason she had known was because he had told her this shocking truth when he came back from the vault. She guessed that he only told her because he wanted some credit in risking his life to make someone else look great. Janey just walked up to Timothy, and patted his shoulder as she told him, "You know, even though people think your that dick, I still think you and the others are the real heroes of this story."

These words only seemed to cheer Timothy up a little, but he didn't look entirely convinced. He just replied, "Thanks for the party, but I need to get back to Jack. We're shooting a documentary later on, and Jack will kill me if I don't show up." Before Timothy could even take a step, Springs threw her arm around his neck, and trapped Tim in a head lock. "Oh don't worry," she said, "Just enjoy the party. If anything, Jack should be afraid of you, I mean you did help defeat Zarpedon didn't you?

Timothy just nodded, allowing Springs to continue and say, "You also helped open the vault and defeat the sentinel, don't you think you should have the glory instead of that pretty boy?" Timothy took a moment to think over what Springs had just said, came to a angered realization that everything she had said was true. "You know what," he said with a new confidence in his voice, "I think I will stay, screw Jack I'm going to get what's coming to me."

"That's the spirit," Janey cheered on, "Now go have some fun. There are some nice looking ladies in that corner over there, why don't you go talk to them." Timothy nodded as he headed over to the group of women, leaving Athena and Janey alone. Realizing this, Springs moved closer to Athena, and asked, "Sooooooo...may I have this dance?"

Athena, unknown to her, blushed at Janey and just walked away to avoid any awkwardness. Unknown to Athena, Springs noticed this change in behavior, and she knew she was getting to her. All she had to do was wait for the right opportunity, and that girl would be hers and hers alone. "Patience Janey," she told herself, "All you have to do is wait. Might as well have some fun while waiting." Oh yes, things were definitely going to plan.

_So yeah, this is part one of four chapters, feel free to criticize. It's been two months since I've written, so I need to brush up on a few skills, and don't worry you hard core Borderlands fans, people will die._


End file.
